Also....

Why does my UNDERWEAR have a POCKET???

What is THE GAP hoping I put there, keys? Some chapstick? Maybe a mint?

Yeah, I mean, I do all my underwear shopping at THE GAP so probably a mint.

Or

An emergency quarter in case I need to call home.

Do you remember that? Like when you were 12, your mom always made sure you had an envelope filled with a couple of quarters for extra milk money or in case you needed to call home?

That was nice.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. THE GAP.